Love Actually

Rubbish, actually.

OK, there are some funny moments (even laugh-out-loud ones), but this "romantic comedy" leaves a lot to be desired.

Don't worry lads: if your girlfriend drags you along to see this and you aren't enjoying it, just look out for the gratuitous female nudity.

Why not stop him before he hurts somebody

This man should have been shot by someone in the helicopter following him before he had the chance to attempt a car hijack, let alone enter somebody's house and hold them hostage.

link to news footage (requires RealPlayer)

Lost in Translation?

I picked up So I Married An Axe Murderer on DVD a while back, and it's still as funny as I remember it to be. What caught my eye was the naming of the film in 4 languages other than English on the DVD itself, and although I'm no linguistics expert they didn't seem to be direct translations of the title.

So, I decided to find out what they should be, and what they actually are.

I headed over to the altavista babel fish to help me out.

French
Should be: "ainsi j'ai épousé un meurtrier de hache"
actually: "Quand Harriet Découpe Charlie" which means "When Harriet Cuts out Charlie"

Sounds like another film, like, say, "Quand Harry rencontre Sally"

German
Should be: "so heiratete ich einen Axt Murderer"
actually: "Liebling hältst du mal die Axt" which means "You hold times the axe for favourite"

The auto-translator kinda failed here. I think it should be something like "Darling, sometimes you hold the axe" which still sounds pretty odd in English.

Spanish
Should be: "casé tan a asesino del hacha"
actually: "Una novia sin igual" which means "A fiancèe without equal"

At least this translation works, but it pretty much misses the entire point of the title.

Italian
Should be: "così ho sposato un assassino dell'ascia"
actually: "Mia moglie è una pazza assassina?" which means "My wife is one crazy assassin?"

now that's more like it! God bless the Italians.

Devon Sent

I'm now back from a short break away with my girlfriend to Torquay, Devon, feeling suitably relaxed and rested. We decided to stay at the Lincombe Hall Hotel after hearing about the offer they run during winter months. The hotel itself was OK; the room was spacious, and the general decor was old fashioned but pleasant enough. Unfortunately, the plumbing was also fairly retro resulting in long bath running times and a lame shower experience (fed from bath taps). That said, the staff were friendly and helpful, and the food was excellent (which is of course a huge plus when it's included in the price).

Having arrived late on Friday night, Saturday was our first full day which we spent looking around the town and relaxing at the hotel. On Sunday, we ventured out into Devon, driving south through Paignton, Brixham, taking the short ferry over to Dartmouth (stopping briefly at the castle, just to take in the view), past the other Blackpool, and on to Salcombe. We attemped to visit the Overbecks Garden but were forced onwards when the car's handbrake was defeated by the slope in the car park!

We ventured on down narrow and windy roads, west to Hope Cove before heading north to start the journey back. Totnes was our final stop, with Anne of Cleves supplying some much needed sustenance. This small tea room with a tudor-style interior decor served us a delicious tomato & basil soup and a ploughman's lunch, and was no doubt named after this lady.

Yesterday we set out to see Dartmoor, first driving north to Dawlish to pick up some food supplies (and caught sight of the interestingly named "Gays Creamery"). I then managed to navigate us down some stupidly narrow country roads during which time only sheer luck ensured we only encountered other vehicles when the road decided to become generously wide.

Safely back onto A-roads, we proceeded into the heart of Dartmoor National Park and stopped a couple of times to enjoy the views and tranquility of it all. We were pretty sure we saw the prison as we drove along the strech of road our map insisted it was next to, but no escaped convicts. We did see a herd of (what I think were) bulls jogging along the road. I don't mean they were in trainers and sweatbands, but they weren't walking, and they weren't stampeding, just, well, jogging. They were being coaxed down the road by a man in a Land Rover, in the back of which we could see two dogs through a metal grid as we were the first car behind. At one point, the driver's door opened, and out jumped two other dogs who ran and snapped at the bulls as if they were sheep, hurrying them on their way. During this, a couple more dogs made their presence known by leaping about excitedly in the back of the Land Rover. With all bulls back up to optimum jogging speed, the door opened again, in jumped the dogs to join the swelling canine collective, and on we drove.

Today, on our way back, we visited Exeter for a bit of shopping and a wander around, then on to Honiton where I finally managed to get hold of a cream tea at the Coffee House on the high street. It was such a quaint little place, mostly full of old dears having their lunch, and the quantity of jam and cotted cream that came with the scones was so much that it was physically impossible to use it all, despite my best efforts. I think it may have been a test of some sort; perhaps a local variation of an ironman challenge. Regardless, I left a praising comment in the guestbook, and we returned to the car and continued along the A35, out of Devon.

OK, so we didn't manage a trip to the Eden Project in Cornwall, and I was most upset that the Hedgehog Hospital at Newton Abbot was closed to visiters in October. I'm sure I'll get another chance, but I think I might return when the weather is a bit warmer and sunnier than it was for the last few days.

Life in the Fast(er) Lane

The thought of getting a new 3D graphics card didn't go away, and so last Sunday I wandered into PC World and picked up a Leadtek Winfast A350 TDH LX for a very reasonable price. It's based on the nVidia FX5900 chip, with the "LX" denoting slower memory (2.8ns vs 2.2ns), and so far it's been fantastic: super-smooth gameplay in everything I've thrown at it so far. I'm currently downloading the demo of Halo to try out.

That will all have to go on hold for the next few days while I head of to Devon with my girlfriend for a well deserved short break. I'm sure I'll survive somehow...